10 Moses raised another objection to God: "Master, please, I don't talk well. I've never been good with words, neither before nor after you spoke to me. I stutter and stammer."

11-12 God said, "And who do you think made the human mouth? And who makes some mute, some deaf, some sighted, some blind? Isn't it I, God? So, get going. I'll be right there with you—with your mouth! I'll be right there to teach you what to say."

13 He said, "Oh, Master, please! Send somebody else!" Exodus 4:10-13 (Message Bible)

Every time I read these verses I am amazed to think that Moses was insecure about his ability to do what God was asking him. I don't know why I would be amazed. Probably because he went on to do great things. But human nature is often times quick to see our own flaws and to feel insecure about them. And Moses was no different. In these verses we see that he was quick to point out the reason why he couldn't do what he was asked. And it makes me think of myself. (Can you hear me saying ouch!) God already knew when He asked Moses to do the task what his limitations were. But God has no limitations to what He can do. And it's in His power and strength that we must learn to rely. So why is it that we are so quick to respond with our inabilities?
It's been said that when God calls us to do something He will equip us for the task. In fact, He may have already been preparing us even without our realizing it. All of our life experiences and our passions can be used in some way to further the kingdom of God. 
There are so many times when I feel inferior to others. As you can probably guess (based on some of my previous posts), it most likely stems from my childhood and the rejection I felt growing up. In some ways that feeling of not being good enough taught me to see the negative in things. And to be honest, I still struggle with that at times. This makes me want to stay in my comfort zones. But I have to wonder if playing it safe is going to get me to where I need to be. And is it going to best fulfill the plan of God? I mean, just like Moses, God will still accomplish His plan even if we aren't a 100% willing participant. But wouldn't it be nice to know that we were obedient to God, even in our discomfort, and that He used us to fulfill His plans? 

Who Am I?

I was listening to Kim Walker speaking and she said something that struck a nerve with me. It's kind of what I've been feeling lately. She said that when the singing (the only thing she knew she was good at) was stripped away, she had to ask herself, "Who am I?" I've been in this season of "not singing" for the past 6 months and I too have to ask myself, "Who am I?" I feel like I've drifted somewhat. Don't get me wrong, I love God. I pray. I read the Bible. I listen to preachers and teachers. But it almost seems as if the passion has dwindled. And that shouldn't be. Perhaps I've allowed the busyness of life and the cares of this world to invade my heart more than the love of the God. Did I rely too much on singing to give me passion when my passion should be about God? Maybe this place is exactly where God wants me right now. Maybe it's what I needed to remind me that I need to spend this time seeking to know Him more, to love on Him and to allow His love to embrace me. When you have to lay down that thing that you have held dear for so long, that thing that perhaps has taken the top spot in your life, you discover that it's not about that. Singing to worship God is good, but if I never sang another note, I have to know that I would still love God, still worship Him. So on this day, I surrender any idol to God. I want God more than I want to sing. I want God more than I want to write. All I want is to know Him more and more intimately with each passing day. And out of that overflow, let the praises ring, whether in song, in dance, in writing, in ministering to and serving others, etc. "Set a fire down in my soul...that I can't contain, that I can't control...I want more of You, God...I want more of You." That is my heart's cry.

As we face the election I have heard so much political debate, name calling and bashing of candidates. This year's campaign seems worse than ever. As I was listening to a message on Sunday morning I was reminded that God's word tells us to pray for our leaders. It didn't say to pray only if you like them. In fact, if you don't like them, you should probably be praying even more. I think it becomes really hard to dislike someone if you are praying for them. You see them in a different light. Anyway, later as I prepared to go to bed I decided to read my Bible, to get one more dose of God's word. As I opened the pages it fell to 1 Timothy 2:1-2, which reads:

I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone-for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.

Funny thing, a person on my facebook friends list had mentioned how she heard a message at her church and then later God directed her to a verse that went right along with that. I commented how I loved when God did that kind of thing. It's kind of a confirmation that, yes, God is speaking something to you. It was that night when the same thing happened to me. I am grinning even thinking about it. I am thankful that God took the time to remind me to pray for our president...no matter which candidate wins. He also directed me to that familiar verse in Philippians 4:6-7. It reads:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace that transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

The thing that both verses seem to have in common is that, when we present our requests to God and offer thanks, peace is a result. Some days it is hard to lay my cares at Jesus' feet, but by doing so I am trusting that God is in control no matter how things may look. And in this day and age, who doesn't long for peace? I know I do.

"The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rocks and make your home on the heights, you who say to yourself, 'Who can bring me down to the ground?' Though you soar like the eagle and make your nest among the stars, from there I will bring you down, declares the Lord."
Obadiah 1:3-4

I realize that this passage wasn't written to Americans per se'. But it's easy to see that it could have been. It is an example of what happens when a nation becomes haughty.This nation (America) has become so prideful in our prosperity that in some ways it has become our god. We've felt invincible. In recent times however, our economy has taken a nosedive and reached crisis levels. As a result, our influence globally is at an all time low.The god of money and power are being brought down. It's kind of funny that the eagle and the stars are mentioned here since these are two things associated with America. It's time that we wake up and realize that God is a jealous God and he wants nothing placed before him. That includes our own self sufficiency. Our reliance should always be on him. When we ignore God, we can rest assured he's not happy. We have to stop taking God out of the equation.

The other day my daughter was talking about how she was fearless prior to having her son. She asked if it was like that for me. I had to be honest. I told her I had never really been fearless. It's kind of sad really. But you know, my childhood was so out of whack that I wanted to feel secure. I felt like I was totally out of control with what was happening in my life. That longing for security seemed to carry over into all areas of my life. Here I am all these years later wishing I had taken more risks, that I had been more fearless. I see people all around me doing great things; things I know were far out of their comfort zone. And I have to ask myself, "What have I done?" Oh, I know that some would say I have stepped out of my comfort zone in some ways...I'd have to agree. But was it enough?

I'm always hearing people talk about their bucket lists. Seems to me these are things people want to do before they die, but possibly haven't had the courage to do until some major life event changed them. I don't want something tragic to occur to push me to doing something exciting and adventurous. And I'm not really talking about just going out and having fun. I want to do things that will matter in regards to the kingdom of God. I want my life to matter. I think that this is what we all want. We want to make a difference in this world. We want to touch the hearts and souls of another human being. We want to make an impact that will be remembered long after we're gone. So we have to ask ourselves what it is that is important in the eyes of God. Those are the things that will count for eternity. And they will require us to step out on the wire. But just remember, we're not without a safety net. God is there to catch us should we fall.

Over the last several months I have felt a change is coming. Being that I am not one who likes change (though I know it is often necessary), I have sought out the familiar and the comfortable in some last ditch effortt to control what's happening. There's an old saying, "you can never go back," and over the years I have found this to be true. No matter how much I may want things to be like they once were, it's just not going to happen. It's kind of like being adrift at sea, hanging onto a life preserver for dear life and wishing that someone would rescue you or that you'd make it to shore safe and sound. No matter how hard you try to steer your course, the wind and waves seem to overpower you and take you wherever they see fit. And you can only hold on for dear life, praying for God to help you make it out alive.

I realize that God is in control of my situation. He knows my every need. And even though I may try to paddle against the current at times, ultimately, he will direct my path. He is in control. So why do I make it so hard? Why do I stress about it? Why can't I just lay it at his feet and leave it there? I need peace, and that only comes when I allow him to guide me without resistance. I know this. I have experienced this.

Years ago I had this friend who was going through some pretty difficult stuff. In the midst of it he remained as he always had been. He didn't seem stressed or strained by it. He didn't moan and complain. If you didn't know what he was going through, you wouldn't have known anything was wrong. That's how I want to be. It shows a total and complete trust in God.

My prayer today is that God would help me to trust him completely, and that in the process of waiting I would find peace in him.

One day I was watching Family Feud and as each contestant stood waiting, hands on their buzzers, the host began to ask the question. Before he got the question out completely one of the contestants slammed their hand onto their button and spewed out some answer. As you can guess, it wasn't one of the top answers on the board. The host then turned to the other contestant and read the question in its entirity. After doing so it was quite clear that the first contestant would have been wise to wait and hear the question in order to understand what was being asked. I thought about this verse in Proverbs 18:13

"He who answers before listening-that is his folly and his shame."

Now, I'm not saying that incident on a game show brought shame to the contestant, but I am guessing it probably brought some degree of embarrassment. It wasn't a wise move to answer without knowing the entire question. This scenario also reminded me of politicians. Often times they are asked random questions and they may give some rash answer without much thought to it. They make promises that realistically they will probably never be able to keep. Had they done more extensive research on the topic they might have known better than to make such promises. But in their attempt to win voters they will say just about anything to please them.

Sometimes (in hindsight usually) it would be easy to see why James 1:19 would tell us to "be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." It's foolishness to answer without first listening intently. We need to hear what others have to say (not just with our ears, but with our hearts). Have an open mind and a willingness to admit if you are wrong. A person who answers hastily can easily end up being angered when they are humiliated by their own stupidity. I realize that is not necessarily the anger James is specifically referring to, but it is true all the same. Think about it. Have you ever done or said something foolish and then got angry when someone proved you wrong? So who were you really angry at? The one who showed you truth or yourself?

I guess the point I am really trying to make here is to think before you speak. Know what it is you are responding to when someone asks you questions.  If you don't know the answer don't be too proud to say, "I don't know the answer; I'll have to get back to you on that." Pride goes before a fall. A person who walks in humility is quite refreshing and far more respected than the one who speaks arrogantly.