Have you ever told your kids to do something and they repeatedly disobeyed? And did you get so frustrated you just wanted to scream? As if that would solve anything. The other day I was dealing with one of my grandchildren who didn't want to do what I was asking him to do. I was trying to get him dressed and ready for school and we were running late because of his obstinence.The moment I mentioned punishment he was quick to say he was sorry. I answered, "If you were, you wouldn't continue doing it." Typical parental (or grandparent in this case) response, right? I was so aggravated by the whole situation. But later, God showed me something and it was very humbling. Over and over again we do things and ask God for forgiveness. Now, if His thinking were the same as mine, He could say, "If you were truly sorry you wouldn't keep doing that."  And you know, while this is true, God is a lot more merciful than we are. And I am glad for that. As you can read by previous posts, I often struggle with those same sins over and over...one of the big ones being related to my mouth. I am glad that He doesn't turn His back on me based on my lack of obedience, but He continues to draw me to repentance, and back into His loving embrace.

In the Old Testament we see where God's chosen people disobeyed repeatedly. They would get frustrated with whatever situation they were facing at the moment and they seemed to always fall back into that pattern of wanting to go back to the bondage they had been in. This particular moment I faced with my grandson came after I had told God how I wanted to change how I responded to irritating situations. I don't think it's a coincidence that this frustration came then. I think it was just what Satan thought would throw me back to that place of saying, "I can't do this." And if he could get me to think that way, then he could get me to continue living as I had been...in bondage. Trapped by the very thing I had just said I wanted to change.

People always tell you, "don't pray for patience or you'll be put to the test." Well, this is kind of what happens whenever you decide you want to live a life pleasing to God. The enemy will quickly come in and give you the opportunity to live exactly as you had been. That is why we have to determine in our hearts that no matter how many times he puts that temptation out there for us to fall prey to, we will do what we've said, even if we mess up. After repenting we will pick ourselves back up and try again. We will remember that the enemy has been defeated. And the same power that raised Jesus from the dead resides within us, giving us the power to overcome.