A Matter of the Heart

Now, therefore, says the Lord Turn to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning. So rend your heart and not your garments; Return to the Lord your God, For He is gracious and merciful, Slow to anger and of great kindness; And He relents from doing harm. Joel 2:12-13

 

By this scripture we can clearly see that God is not satisfied with outward acts of repentance. Rending ones garment was a custom of the day; a custom that showed grief or remorse. However, people can go through all the ritualistic motions they want to and still not be truly repentant. And God knows this. That is why He is asking for a rending of their hearts. In Psalm 51 we read David's prayer of repentance. After acknowledging his sin as being against God he goes on to say in Psalm 51 10: "Create in me a clean heart, O God." David recognized that his sin was a heart issue, and that repentance could only come when the heart was changed. So how does a person change their heart? As believers we can turn from our sin, but more importantly, we need to get into the Word and have our minds renewed. Only then can real transformation take place. That is how we come to know what it is that pleases and displeases God. His thinking becomes our thinking. We can hear all the feel good messages we want to and never have a life changing transformation. They may go in one ear and out the other. But there's something about getting into the Word and reading it for ourselves...it's like a marvelous epiphany as the scriptures come alive. A light seems to shine on those things that aren't in line with God's views. As this happens, genuine repentance comes. Now, let me point out that in David's case he received a word from Nathan the prophet after he (David) had committed sin....in other words, a word from God. You can read that story in 2 Samuel if you'd like to investigate further. I assure you, it is well worth the read.

 

So what about those who aren't spending time reading the Bible? Those who are non believers? How can their heart be changed? Well, we all know that God is truly the only one who can change a heart. It is His kindness that draws men to repentance. So is there something we can do? We can seek the Lord with all our heart. The Bible tells us that when we seek, He will be found. So why not start seeking? Salvation comes from no other. Don't think that you are too bad and that there's no way God could ever forgive you. He did just that when He died on the cross. And don't think you have to get all cleaned up before you seek Him. God is the best launderer there is. He accepts you as you are. It kind of reminds me of when I would take my clothes to the dry cleaner. I know that's a silly example, but hey, it's what I've got...Anyway, I didn't clean the clothes before taking them, did I? Certainly not! That's their job, right? Well, in the same way it's God's job to clean us up when we turn to Him. A lot of people will hire a maid to come clean their home, but before she arrives you see them picking up, trying to straighten things up so they won't look so bad. Ha! That is not what God wants...I am reminded of an old hymn called Just As I Am. One of the verses says this:

 

Just as I am, thou wilt receive,
Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;
Because thy promise I believe,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

 

Okay, so in today's English that basically means that He will receive us just as we are. He welcomes us, pardons us, cleanses us, and relieves us of the responsibility for our own salvation. And what did it take?Belief in the promises of God. Believing that Jesus is who He said He is. The Son of God who came to die for our sins. Believing that He died on the cross in our place and that He rose again on the third day, and is now seated at the right hand of the Father. And because of His death and resurrection we are assured that we can one day be with Him in heaven. Not a shabby deal now is it? And the great thing about it is that we don't have to do all these things that other religions seem to think are necessary for salvation. When we are born again we will want to do good works, but we know that it is not the works that save us. Our salvation is found in Christ alone.

Awesome God

Awesome God

Your voice is
The voice that
Commanded the universe to be
Your voice is
The voice that
Is speaking words of love to me
How can it be

Awesome God
Holy God
I worship You in wonder
Awesome God
Holy God
As You draw near I'm humbled
By Your majesty
And the mystery of Your great love for me

Your arms are
The arms that
Hung shining stars in deepest space
Your arms are
The arms that
Surround me with a warm embrace
Amazing grace

Awesome God
Holy God
I worship You in wonder
Awesome God
Holy God
As You draw near I'm humbled
By Your majesty
And the mystery of Your great love for me


This song reminds me of how awesome God really is. The same God who created the universe, the same God that speaks things into existence, is the God that now resides in me. He's the same God that loved (and still loves) me when I didn't even deserve it. He embraces me and showers me with love. Wow! Hard to fathom that, isn't it? Romans 5:8 says: "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Yep, we did nothing to deserve it. and I find that pretty incredible. I can't see me dying for someone who is my enemy. Can you? But that is exactly what Jesus did.  And I am so grateful that He did because even though I didn't always see my need for a Savior, I needed a Savior. And I still need one. Every day I need one. I am human, and it is only by His shed blood that I can be counted as righteous. Not because of anything I've done or will do. He is an amazing God...an awesome God...a God like no other.

Holidays and Life

Thanksgiving is supposed to be about thanking God for the many blessings He has bestowed upon us. And yes, I do thank him for that. I am especially thankful that he sent his son to die so that I might live. What an incredible gift! What mercy. But holidays are often a time of sadness for many. So many people have lost loved ones and the pain is still fresh. And holidays are a reminder of what they've lost. This is the first Thanksgiving since my cousin Marie died. Even though I didn't always see her on Thanksgiving I could always call her and cut the fool. And we'd always vow to get together soon. Yes, I am sad. I miss her like crazy. But I am also thankful that God allowed her to be in my life for as long as she was. She touched my heart in a way that no other has. She inspired me. She taught me that it's okay to laugh in spite of the pain. It's okay to live in the face of death. Marie was always so concerned with other people. She would go out of her way to make sure everyone was doing okay. Even the last week of her life she didn't want to go lay in her bed for fear of offending people. It didn't matter that she felt like crap. She wanted to be the best hostess to her guests. But you know, I've discovered that it's okay to show others that you're hurting. It's okay to say, "I need to go rest." We can't be all things to all people at all times. We're human. That being said, let me say, "I am hurting." I miss Marie. I miss my brother in law David. I miss my mother in law. I miss my husband's Uncle Joe. Too many losses in such a short time. Still, I am thankful for all that God has blessed me with. A husband who adores me, great children, some amazing grandsons to love, and a family that I love dearly....life can be bittersweet, can't it? There are joyful moments, and moments of intense grief. There are times when we suffer, and times when we comfort those who suffer.

I was sitting here thinking about how my life is right now...and you know, it could be a lot worse. I may be struggling financially, but I have food on the table and a roof over my head. I may have health issues, but there are those who suffer far worse health issues. I think about people like the Matthews Family and wonder how they can face each day, having lost two children in such a short time (http://www.thematthewsstory.com/). I think about those in other countries who lose children from things like cholera. I think about how those mothers and fathers grieve the loss. It must be a hard thing to deal with. And what about the children who lose their parents? Life isn't always fair. And sometimes I'd like to shake my fist at the sky and scream, "Why God?" But even in those moments, I know that He works all things together for good. I know that He is in control and sees the bigger picture. So then I pray, "Open my eyes, Lord that I may see as You see. And open my heart that I may respond as You would respond."

Confession Time

I have a confession to make. I have not been as diligent in my study of the Word as I should be. Not that I have to follow some legalistic rules about how much I read my Bible. But you know, sometimes you just know that what you're doing isn't enough. I mean, here I am in the most free country in the world, with every resource imagineable at my disposal, and yet, I waste much of my time doing other things; things that will in no way transform me into the image of Christ. I want to know God intimately, and that intimacy doesn't come without quality time spent in the Word and in prayer. Only as my mind is renewed will the Christ in me be reflected to a lost and dying world. And those things that often come too easily, like lashing out in anger when someone hurts me, will become a thing of the past. I will instead learn to bless those who curse me. I will pray for those who persecute me. I will repay evil with good. I will speak less, listen more. I will be more willing to give than receive. There's a vast array of knowledge contained within the pages of scripture. A wealth of information about how to live life according to God's thinking. And that is what I want. To lay aside the desires of Jan, and seek to do what pleases the Father. Sometimes that isn't always easy. In fact, I'd venture to say, most times it isn't easy. If it were, everyone would be doing it, right?

Faithful Are The Wounds of A Friend

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." Proverbs 27:6

Whenever I read this verse I am reminded of a couple of things. First, I am reminded of some of my closest friends. We met years ago and a bond formed between us. There are five of us, and we jokingly refer to ourselves as the click. What is great about this group is that we can share some of our most intimate life details and never fear that what we say will end up as a gossip tidbit. We can be real. But another thing that I love about these gals is that they aren't afraid to let me know if I am walking in error or if I am on a path that is leading to destruction. They can speak truth into my life, and I value their input. I give them permission to  hold me accountable. Psalm 141:5 says:

"Let the righteous strike me; It shall be a kindness. And let him rebuke me: It shall be as excellent oil; Let my head not refuse it."

My friends know how to lovingly correct me when I am wrong. It is my prayer that I take such correction in the spirit it is intended, without offense. These girls are looking out for my best interest, just as I would look out for their best interest.

Okay, so I said the verse reminded me of a couple of things. Another thing that verse reminds me of is when a friend asked me for advice. Now, let me say that I am not one to speak flippantly. I want to offer godly advice, not just what my flesh might think is right in the heat of emotion. So I prayed before offering her any advice. I slept on it. And when I did offer the advice, it was straight from the Word of God. But guess what...it offended her. You see, she didn't truly want God's opinion, or even mine. She wanted someone to condone her sin. And I couldn't do that. What kind of friend only tells you what you want to hear when they see you taking a road that will lead to harm? Had I told her what she wanted to hear, I would not have been displaying the traits of a true friend. Our relationship was never the same after that. But I don't regret for a moment what I told her because I knew it was founded in truth.

Having said all that, let me suggest that you find yourselves some real friends who aren't afraid to speak the truth in love. Allow them to hold you accountable. Yes, I know that ultimately we are accountable only to God. But it helps to have someone who can see things that you may not see about yourself. Choose your friends wisely.

Transparency & Praising in the Trials

In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16

This morning I was reading this verse and I had a sudden thought about transparency. So many times people assume that being transparent is merely saying that we should be quick to let people see that we have struggles, flaws and weaknesses. While this may be true to some degree, and at some times, it got me thinking about how as Christians, we are called to be imitators of Christ. This means that we should be showing God's power and awesomeness in the midst of our trials just as Christ did. He faced seemingly impossible circumstances, yet His trust in the Father never wavered. And in those times of intense temptation He still spoke the word of God. So what does that have to do with transparency? It seems to me that when we are facing difficult times what is on the inside of us will rise to the surface and that is what people will see shining through.
As my pastor was speaking this morning he mentioned praising even in the hard times. Something he said triggered my memory of my cousin and how she always praised no matter how she felt or what the doctors said about her condition. She battled cancer for several years and she always trusted God even when things were at their bleakest. There was a song she loved so much. It is called, "Yet I Will Praise" and here are the lyrics:

I will praise You Lord my God
Even in my brokenness
I will praise You Lord
I will praise You Lord my God
Even in my desperation
I will praise You Lord

And I can't understand
All that You allow
I just can't see the reason
But my life is in Your hands
And though I cannot see You
I choose to trust You

Even when my heart is torn I will praise (trust) You Lord
Even when I feel deserted I will praise (trust) You Lord
Even in my darkest valley I will praise (trust) You Lord
And when my world is shattered and it seems all hope is gone
Yet I will praise You Lord

I will trust You Lord my God
Even in my loneliness
I will trust You Lord
I will trust You Lord my God
Even when I cannot hear You
I will trust You Lord

And I will not forget
That You hung on a cross
Lord You bled and died for me
And if I have to suffer
I know that You've been there
And I know that You're here now

The reason that Marie could praise in the midst of her struggle was because she had an intimate relationship with God. She studied the word, and as a result, her mind (thinking) had been transformed by it. It was as much a part of who she was as the blood that coarsed through her veins. And when the pressure was on, she became transparent...showing, not only the trials she was facing, but the God she was trusting. Anyone who knew her well knew what she was going through, but if asked about her they always mentioned that her faith was what kept her going strong.
On one particlar occasion Marie and I had a long conversation about her situation. As she spoke I began writing down things she said to me. I then wrote a song using her own expressions. I always called it "Marie's Song" even though it never once mentioned her name. Here are her thoughts expressed in song:

There have been days when I have questioned
Lord, why is this happening to me
And there have been days when I've been broken
Crying before You on my knees

There are days when I've clearly seen Your hand
Working all around me
Laying in place all of my life's circumstance
And molding me into who I should be

Some say that I'm strong, in my strength I should make it through
But Lord I don't see it quite their way
For I know that all of my strength comes from You
And that is why to You I pray

Help me, Lord, to wait patiently
And help me place my trust in You
And give me the faith that it takes to believe
That even my pain brings glory to You


In the first line it says, there have been days when I have questioned. But do you know what she questioned? She questioned her own sin. Had she done anything to bring this on herself? If she had sin in her life that may have caused this, she wanted to deal with that sin. Her questioning was a self examination. Her brokenness was a complete surrender to the will of God. She would tell anyone who'd listen all the things God had done for her even in the midst of the battle. She didn't focus on the bad that was happening, but rather, on the glory God was gonna get because of how He had worked in the situations of her life. She knew that God was more than capable of healing if that was what He chose to do. And she also knew that no matter what happened she wanted Him to get glory...even in her suffering. Marie was a unique woman, loved by many. She was kooky and a lot of fun to be around. She'd give you the shirt off her back and help anyone who had a need. But more than any other quality she possessed, her love for God was the most visible thing in her life.