Here it is December 22nd...a mere 3 days (well, not even 3 considering this day is nearly over) till Christmas. And guess what. I am not through shopping. Every year I say I am going to start shopping early, but finances always prevent that from happening. And this year was no different. In fact, it's been the worst year financially for us. Being that our next check would normally be payable on December 24th, the chances are slim that I will get all that I had hoped to get. I really need to be finished by tomorrow since our family gathering is Friday and Christmas is Saturday. My children and grandchildren will be here, along with my mom and my sister. But if this holiday is anything like Thanksgiving was, we won't get our check until "after" the holiday. We're on direct deposit and the bank will be closed Friday. Yippee! You know I'm being sarcastic, right?
This year has also been the worst one as far as unity in the family. The tension between the family members makes it hard to celebrate.It depresses my mother. For the first time I heard her say that she had nothing to be thankful for. I know that's an exaggeration....but family gatherings are what make the holidays so special for her. She loves to see us all together. But what do you do? If I invite this one, that one won't come...
Years ago I prided myself on having a family that didn't hold grudges, that didn't harm one another, and if you did have any issues, you were willing to lay them aside for the holidays...those days are no more.
Okay...so not only is it the countdown to Christmas, it's the countdown to the New Year. I'm not sure what the future holds, but I do know that no matter what comes my way, I am gonna love the Lord, serve Him, and seek to do His will. I am not one to make a lot of resolutions, since I usually fail to keep them. But I do want to discipline myself to spend more time in the Word, and in prayer. I have to draw closer and closer to my Lord...it's all that sustains me.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
Memories & Giving
I was thinking about my Grandma today. She's been dead for many years now, but as I was longing for a simpler Christmas, my mind wandered back in time. My Grandma was a godly woman; a woman whose primary goal in life was to share Jesus with anyone and everyone who would listen. Sometimes even to those who didn't want to listen. Grandma never met a stranger so she'd talk to anyone. Each year as Christmas rolled around our family would have their yearly get together at Grandma's house. I can still picture her sitting there in her rocking chair listening as each of us children read our assigned story or scipture. Every aspect of the celebration revolved around the real reason we were celebrating. It wasn't about Santa Claus and the gifts. It wasn't about holiday food and hanging out with family and friends. It was about JESUS. Grandma had passion. And she wasn't afraid to say what was on her mind. Yes, we got gifts, but let me assure you, those were always low on the totem pole as to why we were there. Grandma was leaving a legacy. That legacy had to do with giving....God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.
This year has been a really difficult year for me. Financially, we're worse off than we've been in years. So that translates to less giving. Being a giver, this is hard for me to handle. I want to give. But then I have to question if perhaps part of it isn't a pride thing....I mean, it felt good to give. It made me seem like I was some sort of savior or something...well, not really a savior, but someone who swooped in and helped the less fortunate and walked away with a smile on my face and a gooey feeling in my heart. And now for me to feel less fortunate, it puts a wrinkle in things. Okay...so I'm really not less fortunate in comparison to those around the world or even in my own country. I am blessed beyond measure. I have what I need. I have food, shelter, clean water. And even though I may have some health issues, I also have access to medical care. Lots of people don't have that luxury. And I have the freedom to worship God. Wow! So I question, "Is it wrong for me to feel good about giving?" No, it's not wrong. But I can't allow my giving to be contingent on some feeling. Sometimes people aren't so appreciative when you give. They may not give you that nice cozy feeling. And then what? Are you sorry you gave? I am reminded of a story....it's a true story and it happened to me....
Years ago I was working in a church office when a man came to the door wanting money. In my gut I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that this man was a con. Call it instinct or discernment or whatever you like. All I know is I knew he was trying to pull the wool over my eyes. As he stood there talking his talk, I was thinking, "he's a con...there ain't no way I'm giving him money." But then I heard this still small voice tell me to give him money. I'm thinking, "Huh? What you talking 'bout God? You know he's a con." And then the voice spoke again and said, "It's not about whether he's a con or not. It's about whether you'll obey or not." Ouch. That stung just a little. My whole life I had been prideful about not letting people fool me. And here I was in the midst of a dilemma...would I give the money and let the man think he had fooled me? Or would I obey God? I chose the latter. I gave the man the money. As I handed it to him he looked at me and said, "I know you think I'm a con." I told him, "It doesn't matter what I think about you...I am giving you this money out of obedience to God."
Okay, so I got sidetracked there. This is kind of two stories, isn't it? One about sharing Jesus and remembering the whole reason we celebrate Christmas. The other about giving with pure motives and in obedience when God tells us to give. And you know, the greatest give we can give is the gift of hope that we've been given...His name is Jesus.
This year has been a really difficult year for me. Financially, we're worse off than we've been in years. So that translates to less giving. Being a giver, this is hard for me to handle. I want to give. But then I have to question if perhaps part of it isn't a pride thing....I mean, it felt good to give. It made me seem like I was some sort of savior or something...well, not really a savior, but someone who swooped in and helped the less fortunate and walked away with a smile on my face and a gooey feeling in my heart. And now for me to feel less fortunate, it puts a wrinkle in things. Okay...so I'm really not less fortunate in comparison to those around the world or even in my own country. I am blessed beyond measure. I have what I need. I have food, shelter, clean water. And even though I may have some health issues, I also have access to medical care. Lots of people don't have that luxury. And I have the freedom to worship God. Wow! So I question, "Is it wrong for me to feel good about giving?" No, it's not wrong. But I can't allow my giving to be contingent on some feeling. Sometimes people aren't so appreciative when you give. They may not give you that nice cozy feeling. And then what? Are you sorry you gave? I am reminded of a story....it's a true story and it happened to me....
Years ago I was working in a church office when a man came to the door wanting money. In my gut I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that this man was a con. Call it instinct or discernment or whatever you like. All I know is I knew he was trying to pull the wool over my eyes. As he stood there talking his talk, I was thinking, "he's a con...there ain't no way I'm giving him money." But then I heard this still small voice tell me to give him money. I'm thinking, "Huh? What you talking 'bout God? You know he's a con." And then the voice spoke again and said, "It's not about whether he's a con or not. It's about whether you'll obey or not." Ouch. That stung just a little. My whole life I had been prideful about not letting people fool me. And here I was in the midst of a dilemma...would I give the money and let the man think he had fooled me? Or would I obey God? I chose the latter. I gave the man the money. As I handed it to him he looked at me and said, "I know you think I'm a con." I told him, "It doesn't matter what I think about you...I am giving you this money out of obedience to God."
Okay, so I got sidetracked there. This is kind of two stories, isn't it? One about sharing Jesus and remembering the whole reason we celebrate Christmas. The other about giving with pure motives and in obedience when God tells us to give. And you know, the greatest give we can give is the gift of hope that we've been given...His name is Jesus.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Being Busy Doesn't Mean We Should Forget the Reason For the Season
I was thinking about the season and how people often get so caught up in the shopping, the decorating and parties and such that they forget to take a moment to just breathe....not that literal breathing that we have to do in order to live, but breathing in the beauty of the season and taking time to focus on what it's all about....Jesus. It's not about Santa or presents. It's not about some holiday meal or family gathering. It's not about work parties and parades. I'm not saying that these are a bad thing necessarily, but they're not the MAIN thing...Jesus was born into this world in order that we might live. There is no greater gift. And we need to remain focused on that even in our busyness.
This year I've had to cut back on the gift giving. It hurts a little, but financially it's not feasible for me to give to every person in the family, especially since our income has dwindled (health insuarance costs have skyrocketed, but with pre-existing conditions we have to keep what we have) and our costs of living (gas, food, electricity, etc.) have increased (and we get NO raise for at least another 3 years). It's times like these that make it all the more clear though that the celebration isn't about what we give or get...it's about what we got already...When I was a child I was raised by a mother who had no job other than cleaning the church once a week...That only paid her about $6.50 week and even in less costly times it was not enough to support 3 children. We did without a lot...even the basic necessities. If it hadn't been for grandparents stepping in to help feed us on occasion I don't know what we would have done. My mama was too proud to get food stamps. She felt like there were people worse off than us (though I couldn't fathom that anyone was worse off at the time). So I know what it's like not to get gifts. The hard part for me in my current situation is not about what gifts I won't get...it's about those gifts I can't give. I love to give. But you know, I don't have to spend money to do that. I can give of my time. I can give of my talents (whatever that may be). I can do those random acts of kindness you read about all the time. It doesn't take much to make someone smile. And in the doing, I can show the love of Jesus. And that's what it's all about. There are people out there suffering. They are without hope. But Jesus offers them hope. He offers them eternal life. That's life long after the life we're living now. Sure, we may be facing tough times and circumstances, but isn't it incredible to know that these things are only temporary?
This year I've had to cut back on the gift giving. It hurts a little, but financially it's not feasible for me to give to every person in the family, especially since our income has dwindled (health insuarance costs have skyrocketed, but with pre-existing conditions we have to keep what we have) and our costs of living (gas, food, electricity, etc.) have increased (and we get NO raise for at least another 3 years). It's times like these that make it all the more clear though that the celebration isn't about what we give or get...it's about what we got already...When I was a child I was raised by a mother who had no job other than cleaning the church once a week...That only paid her about $6.50 week and even in less costly times it was not enough to support 3 children. We did without a lot...even the basic necessities. If it hadn't been for grandparents stepping in to help feed us on occasion I don't know what we would have done. My mama was too proud to get food stamps. She felt like there were people worse off than us (though I couldn't fathom that anyone was worse off at the time). So I know what it's like not to get gifts. The hard part for me in my current situation is not about what gifts I won't get...it's about those gifts I can't give. I love to give. But you know, I don't have to spend money to do that. I can give of my time. I can give of my talents (whatever that may be). I can do those random acts of kindness you read about all the time. It doesn't take much to make someone smile. And in the doing, I can show the love of Jesus. And that's what it's all about. There are people out there suffering. They are without hope. But Jesus offers them hope. He offers them eternal life. That's life long after the life we're living now. Sure, we may be facing tough times and circumstances, but isn't it incredible to know that these things are only temporary?
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Just a Thought About Worship
6 “A son honors his father, and a slave his master. If I am a father, where is the honor due me? If I am a master, where is the respect due me?” says the LORD Almighty.
“It is you priests who show contempt for my name.
“But you ask, ‘How have we shown contempt for your name?’
7 “By offering defiled food on my altar.
“But you ask, ‘How have we defiled you?’
“By saying that the LORD’s table is contemptible.
8 When you offer blind animals for sacrifice, is that not wrong? When you sacrifice lame or diseased animals, is that not wrong? Try offering them to your governor! Would he be pleased with you? Would he accept you?” says the LORD Almighty.
9 “Now plead with God to be gracious to us. With such offerings from your hands, will he accept you?”—says the LORD Almighty.
10 “Oh, that one of you would shut the temple doors, so that you would not light useless fires on my altar! I am not pleased with you,” says the LORD Almighty, “and I will accept no offering from your hands. 11 My name will be great among the nations, from where the sun rises to where it sets. In every place incense and pure offerings will be brought to me, because my name will be great among the nations,” says the LORD Almighty.
12 “But you profane it by saying, ‘The Lord’s table is defiled,’ and, ‘Its food is contemptible.’ 13 And you say, ‘What a burden!’ and you sniff at it contemptuously,” says the LORD Almighty.
“When you bring injured, lame or diseased animals and offer them as sacrifices, should I accept them from your hands?” says the LORD. 14 “Cursed is the cheat who has an acceptable male in his flock and vows to give it, but then sacrifices a blemished animal to the Lord. For I am a great king,” says the LORD Almighty, “and my name is to be feared among the nations. MALACHI 1:6-14
I don't think I have to say too much for believers to get the point that is being made here in these verses. God is definitely not satisfied with sloppy seconds, leftovers. He wants our very best. And honestly, it isn't too much to ask considering who He is and what He has done for us. If God looked into the heart motives behind our worship (the church as a whole), would He say, "Oh, that one of you would shut the temple doors, so that you would not light useless fires on my altar! I am not pleased with you, and I will accept no offering from your hands?" Plain English might word it a it differently. Maybe something like, "Why don't you just shut the church doors instead of pretending to worship...I don't like hypocritical worship." Oh my...that's something to think about, isn't it? I'm reminded also of the verse in Amos 5:23 where it says, "Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps !" Is it enough to sing a song of worship or play to God when our lives aren't representing that we are His children? Are we mistreating our fellow man? Are we giving grudgingly? Is there some idol in our lives that takes precedence over God? Do we think that God will bless us for our lame efforts at worship? I'm just thinking out loud...not pointing any fingers. I myself have been guilty of going through the motions. God has a way of bringing it to your attention when He isn't pleased. It's why I like to take time to examine myself on occasion. I don't want my worship to be useless. And I never want to give God less than He deserves...well, I probably fail there because, as a human, I could never truly give all that He deserves. But I can give the best I have to offer....
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Bryce
Okay, so it's no secret that I absolutely adore my three grandsons. They are three of the most incredible little men ever and I never miss a moment to brag about what they have done that I find humorous, amazing, intelligent, etc. I think most grandparents must feel this way about their grandchildren. At least, that's how they should feel. Anyway, today I want to talk about the baby of my bunch...Bryce Evan. He is the cutest thing. Everything he does just fascinates me. For those who don't know me, let me preface this by saying that my husband is a drummer and I sing and on occasion write songs. I wish I could play guitar (I know a few chords) and piano. For some reason they have never come easy for me...I have resigned myself to being a wannabe musician. Since I can't really be what I want, it has always been my dream that one of my children would be musically inclined, and pursue it as a career choice. Really, they both are inclined toward music...they just chose not to further the dream. Both of them can play guitar and love music so I guess that will have to do. So along come the grandsons and my hope is renewed that someone will be into music. Jacob loves to play drums, but we're not talking about him today. My focus is on Bryce. He is 19 mos. old and he loves drums and guitar. The moment he walks in my door, he heads straight to the drums, picks up the sticks and proceeds to play. And he has pretty good rhythm I might add. Once he's played there for a while he goes over to my guitar and starts in..."tar, tar," he says as he points to the case. Sometimes reluctantly I open the case and pull out the guitar (I say reluctantly because at times I am busy and would much prefer not to start that since I have to watch him the entire time) . Once the guitar is out of the case he immediately says, "pick, pick." Haha. I have to laugh. It's just so darn cute. Yesterday I was letting him strum while I held the guitar and he was having a real good time. He stopped for a minute so I did a sort of syncopated rhythm and tapped the guitar, to add a drum beat. He was thrilled watching me play. His eyes grew as wide as saucers. Of course he had to try that for himself. After he did that he started tapping on the strings and I thought of that movie, "August Rush." I started singing to him and he joined in with me. And he was in tune. And to top it all off he started dancing a cute little jig. I wish I had video taped it because it was such a precious moment; one I will always remember. Well, at least I hope I always remember it. My dad has Alzheimer's so I've come to realize that you don't always have a choice in the matter. Back to Bryce. So me and my husband decide to take the three boys to the local Christmas concert. For the most part, they weren't super interested in the show...up until Bryce spotted the guitar on stage. He wanted that guitar in a bad way. He kept pointing at it and telling me, "tar, tar." I jokingly told my son today that I was gonna nickname him tarbaby.
On Saturday morning I took Bryce and Jeremiah to the Christmas parade. Bryce loves motorcycles as much as he loves music and was enthralled as they rode round and round in front of him. "Vroom, Vroom." Ah...but here comes a drum....yep, he was loving that just as much, if not more. All this to say, "my grandson is a music lover and it is my hope that he continues to love it throughout his life." Music is a comfort in times of sorrow, a joy in times of celebration. It defines moments in our past and expresses emotions we cannot always voice ourselves. Without it, this life would be a pretty dull place. While my grandsons all have different likes and interests, I still long for at least one of them to end up playing regularly. And it would be really nice if they were playing for God...:-)
On Saturday morning I took Bryce and Jeremiah to the Christmas parade. Bryce loves motorcycles as much as he loves music and was enthralled as they rode round and round in front of him. "Vroom, Vroom." Ah...but here comes a drum....yep, he was loving that just as much, if not more. All this to say, "my grandson is a music lover and it is my hope that he continues to love it throughout his life." Music is a comfort in times of sorrow, a joy in times of celebration. It defines moments in our past and expresses emotions we cannot always voice ourselves. Without it, this life would be a pretty dull place. While my grandsons all have different likes and interests, I still long for at least one of them to end up playing regularly. And it would be really nice if they were playing for God...:-)
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