Have you ever told your kids to do something and they repeatedly disobeyed? And did you get so frustrated you just wanted to scream? As if that would solve anything. The other day I was dealing with one of my grandchildren who didn't want to do what I was asking him to do. I was trying to get him dressed and ready for school and we were running late because of his obstinence.The moment I mentioned punishment he was quick to say he was sorry. I answered, "If you were, you wouldn't continue doing it." Typical parental (or grandparent in this case) response, right? I was so aggravated by the whole situation. But later, God showed me something and it was very humbling. Over and over again we do things and ask God for forgiveness. Now, if His thinking were the same as mine, He could say, "If you were truly sorry you wouldn't keep doing that."  And you know, while this is true, God is a lot more merciful than we are. And I am glad for that. As you can read by previous posts, I often struggle with those same sins over and over...one of the big ones being related to my mouth. I am glad that He doesn't turn His back on me based on my lack of obedience, but He continues to draw me to repentance, and back into His loving embrace.

In the Old Testament we see where God's chosen people disobeyed repeatedly. They would get frustrated with whatever situation they were facing at the moment and they seemed to always fall back into that pattern of wanting to go back to the bondage they had been in. This particular moment I faced with my grandson came after I had told God how I wanted to change how I responded to irritating situations. I don't think it's a coincidence that this frustration came then. I think it was just what Satan thought would throw me back to that place of saying, "I can't do this." And if he could get me to think that way, then he could get me to continue living as I had been...in bondage. Trapped by the very thing I had just said I wanted to change.

People always tell you, "don't pray for patience or you'll be put to the test." Well, this is kind of what happens whenever you decide you want to live a life pleasing to God. The enemy will quickly come in and give you the opportunity to live exactly as you had been. That is why we have to determine in our hearts that no matter how many times he puts that temptation out there for us to fall prey to, we will do what we've said, even if we mess up. After repenting we will pick ourselves back up and try again. We will remember that the enemy has been defeated. And the same power that raised Jesus from the dead resides within us, giving us the power to overcome.

The War Within

Let me start by saying that I don't pretend to be perfect. I know that I am far from it. I also know that there is none perfect, but sometimes people like to act like they are or can be. And that just isn't me. Don't get me wrong, I do strive for perfection, but I know in my heart that, as a human, I will mess up at times. And so I try not to be too hard on myself when I do miss the mark. However, there are certain areas where I seem more likely to mess up. When I do, I ask forgiveness. But one day I was thinking about certain things that I continued to do even after I had repented. And it caused me to question if perhaps I didn't even understand the concept of true repentance. I mean, how can a person say they are sorry, but continue to do the same thing over and over again? I wondered if God even heard those "I'm sorry" prayers if in my heart I knew that I would probably fall into that same sin again. Oh, I might be able to not do it for a while...but is not doing it for a while really attempting to correct the problem in my own strength and then failing when my strength is weak? Is that full reliance on the power of God to help me to overcome this? I don't think it is. Preachers are always talking about relying on God's power, not our own strength. They tell us to put the word into action. Funny thing is, I really never hear much about how to do that. Some days one might think that my life verse is Romans 7:15, which says: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." And the struggle begins...it's like a war within at times. I guess some part of me has always tried to be "good enough." That stems from the abandonment I felt when my father left, and all those feelings that resulted from the hurt. I figured I could do something good enough to make him love me, something to want me back in his life. I hate that those feelings from childhood seem to invade my thoughts even now when I know in my heart that my salvation is not based on anything I do. God's love isn't given because of how good or bad I am. Romans 5:8 is a verse I quote to myself as a reminder..."But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." He didn't wait until we were perfect to love us. I can rejoice in that. But that human part of me still struggles with it at times. I want desperately to be pleasing to God. And it hurts me when I fail to do that. One of my favorite passages in the Bible is found in Psalm 51. This is probably the most heartfelt passage regarding repentance and it gives the indication that with true repentance there will be brokenness. So I suppose the question I might ask myself is, "Have I been broken?" Along with that, “Have I seen the sin as God does?” In the beginning of the chapter (verse 4) we see where David says, "Against you, you only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge." The thing I want to point out is that no matter what sin we commit, it is ultimately a sin against God. As Christians, that alone should break our hearts. But thankfully God continues to show mercy when we have done absolutely nothing to deserve it. He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins when we come to Him with a repentant heart; a heart that desires to turn from the sin. I am so thankful that we have access to him even if we sin. Hebrews 4:15-16 says, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in our time of need." The devil would like nothing better than for us to be so condemned because of our sin (or even from our temptation) that we turn from God. But those verses remind me that Jesus understands the temptations we face. He faced them as well. But the good news is that his blood provided us access to the throne of grace when we face temptation. We can seek his help without fear. And that is really the only way that we can overcome. Perhaps change doesn't happen as quickly as we would like, but when we delve into His word we will slowly but surely begin to see changes. We will see things from His perspective. And then we can begin putting those things in action because we more fully understand what it is that pleases Him. I often mention the scripture in Philippians 4: 8 that tells us to think on lovely things, true things, pure things, whatever is praiseworthy, etc. I can't stress enough to myself or others the importance of what we think. Temptation begins in our thought life. And sometimes when we focus too much on trying not to think about a particular temptation/sin, we think about it even more. So when temptation comes, and it will, we need to be quick to replace that thought with something else. We need to take deliberate steps to remove ourselves from anything that might influence us to succumb to the temptation.

Philippians 3:10 (Amp) says:

[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope].

So, you may be wondering why I threw that verse in. I wanted to point out a couple of things. The beginning statement says, "For my determined purpose." These words are so important. They let us know that it had already been decided, there was a determination to do something. As you read on you see what it was he had decided to do. He wanted to know Christ, and to progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with him, to recognize and understand the wonders of his person more strongly and clearly. Notice if you will that word “progressive.” This implies to me that he knew that this was a process. You don't meet someone and fully understand who they are after one encounter. It takes time and effort to develop intimacy. Once you do develop that intimacy with Christ, you come to a place of knowing the power that is the outflowing from His resurrection. That same power that raised Christ from the dead is now residing within us when we accept Christ. And that is the power source that will enable us to stand against temptation. We just need to learn to tap into it.

Over the years I have had to deal with so much junk from my past. I’ve also had to decipher through so much wrong teaching that I’ve heard all my life and determine what really lined up with God’s word. In the process of dealing with all of this it became quite clear that I lacked freedom. That may sound rather off the wall to say when I am talking about temptation and giving in to it. But think about this…when we have no sense of freedom we often times try to hide our struggles. We feel ashamed. We think no one else has ever faced these things. Basically, we fear being condemned. But if we look at it closely, we would see that this lack of freedom to express to others what we are going through causes us to condemn ourselves. And this keeps us entangled in bondage. Then when we fall into temptation and commit sin, we see no hope. The enemy plays on our shame and begins rambling on about how God could never forgive that or how worthless we are, or whatever he can say to us that will strike those nerves. The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”  So you see, we are not alone in our struggles. Others are facing these very common temptations. The good news is that we will not be tempted beyond what we can bear. Oh I know it may feel like we can’t bear it at times, but rest assured, we can if we rely on God and his strength rather than our own. Some versions say that he will provide a way of escape when facing temptation. It kind of reminds me of a fire escape in a way. And when I think of it in that way, I think back to my school days when they would have fire drills. Do you remember those? These drills were meant to prepare us for what we would do in the event of a fire. They were a dress rehearsal for facing what would be a tense situation. I kind of think we need to have temptation drills. We know all too well what our weaknesses are. So we need to think of what we will do when we are put in that position of temptation. Plan it out in advance. I think it might help us to escape if we already have it in our mind what we need to do.

I know that I tend to ramble on when I get going, and sometimes I may not clearly convey the message I want you to understand. So to sum it up, let me put it like this….We are all tempted. Have a plan what you need to do to escape the temptation before it happens. Change what you are thinking on when those thoughts come into your mind. There may be times when we give in to the temptation. We need to repent. That repentance needs to be a genuine brokenness over the sin we’ve committed against God. We should always repent with the intention of not repeating it. If we do it again repent again. Continue developing your relationship with God by studying and meditating his word. This will develop an intimacy and help us to more clearly hear what God is saying and to know and understand what he wants from us. It will help us to learn to tap into his power and to rely more fully on his ability to get us through.

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Peace When Trials Come

In times of war we often hear people saying they want peace. And yes, it would be great if wars were to stop.But I have to wonder if no war equates to peace. If you think long and hard about it a person can have  their own wars raging within.  They can have family issues, financial struggles, job concerns, etc. And any one of these things can rob you of your peace if you aren't careful. Drama situations really have a way of doing that; making you fret about what someone did or didn't do, what they said or didn't say. It's kind of funny though, many times the very ones causing you the most turmoil think very little about what it is you're feeling. They are out there living their lives without a care in the world. With all this in mind, how then can we live at peace in the midst of trials?

As I was meditating on some scriptures regarding peace I could see that the first thing we need to ensure peace is Christ. He alone offers us hope for something better. He has suffered all that we do and has shown us that we can make it through the trials unscathed when our trust and our hope for our future is in the right place. That means our trust isn't in what we see in the natural, but rather, in what God has promised. In order to know what it is that God has promised we need to be in His word. Psalm 119:165 says: "Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble." So ask yourself, "Do I love his law? Am I spending time meditating it?"If you can answer yes to those questions, you will be able to stand in the midst of the trials. And you will be able to look beyond the here and now. In other words, you can believe that these trials are temporary. Another clue about peace is found in Philippians 4:6-8 which says: "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things." It is highly important to rejoice in the Lord even when facing difficult situations. It will help you not to be anxious, and when you aren't anxious you will feel much more at peace. Present your requests to God, with thanksgiving. You can trust that God knows what you're going through, and even though we may not always get the answer we'd like, we can believe that all things will eventually work together for good to those who love him. Trust is essential. No matter how things turn out in this world, we have a hope for a better future. That future will be spent in heaven with Jesus. That alone is reason for rejoicing. And that should offer us some peace. Then we come to the part about our thought life. People who aren't at peace tend to be drawn to think about the negative things. So the key here would be to replace those negative thoughts with more pleasant ones. Replace the lies of the enemy with the truth of God's word. Instead of seeing the bad in the situation, see the good. Find reasons to praise God. It shouldn't be too difficult if you open your eyes to all that He has blessed you with.

The Bible speaks a lot about peace and being peacemakers. As I thought about it, I thought how forgiveness would have to play a role in living a life of peace. Much of our lack of peace comes from offense. Someone did something to hurt us and we play it over and over again in our heads. What we may not realize is that, with every replay of the incident we only make matters worse. And it lessens our peace considerably. Forgiveness is not always an easy thing. Believe me, I know this from my own experience. But it is a choice that we make in obedience to Christ. As we continue choosing to forgive even when we don't feel like it (and we don't see any apparent change) there comes a time when we will see that we have truly forgiven the person who offended us. A friend of mine used to tell me to pray for the person who hurt you. And I'm not talking about praying they get hit by a truck or some stupid thing like that. Pray for them to be blessed. Pray good things for them. It's hard to be mad at someone you're praying for.

There is so much more I can say on the subject of peace, but I am growing tired. I will try to get back to this topic another day. Maybe I'll dig up all of those scriptures regarding peace. If for some reason I don't, let me encourage you to do some digging on the subject. I am sure it would benefit you greatly.

Until next time...

~jan~

Changed By You (written by Jan Peterson)

I have tried to embed this, but for some reason it just wouldn't take. Hopefully, this won't deter you from watching it.

http://youtu.be/swkNOiDjako

Roccopalooza 2012

Musicians are a rare breed. When one is hurting, they all hurt. And they will go out of their way to help a brother in need. When local guitarist/songwriter Rocco Marshall recently had to have his leg amputated, long time friend, Jim Brown, immediately sprung into action to put together a benefit to help cover the medical expenses. One benefit soon turned to four separate events. Musicians from many genres came together to donate their time and talent to the cause. Rocco is well loved and respected amongst his peers and their devotion to him was evidenced by an incredible response to these events. It was a true example of love in action.

European Street hosted the acoustic based musicians. Mike shackelford and Steve Shanholtzer, The Storytellers, Jamie Defrates and Susan Brown, and Larry Mangum.
Brewsters Pit had the rock bands HSOA: Heated State of Aggression, Rogue Patriot, Bleeding in Stereo, and Rosco Caine.
Yesterday's Social Club had two events. On Saturday night they had A1A North, Rick Arcusa Band, Al Stone, Dillinger, and Synergy. Sunday's lineup included a jam session (Jim Mack was in on one of the jams) followed by a show featuring J. Collins, Danny Delves, Mojo Roux, and Yankee Slickers. Randall Hall was also there jamming with the bands. One of the highlights of the evening was when Rocco's daughter, Aaron Marshall joined him on stage. The girl can seriously belt out the tunes. Whew! Such a talent! She must get that from her daddy.

Each of these venues received a donation at the door for Rocco, and there were auctions of things that people and businesses had donated. Yesterday's also had a t-shirt with the bands listed on them which was sold. Part of the proceeds went directly to Rocco.
All of these venues and bands had one common goal...raising money and showing their support for Rocco Marshall. As I listened to the bands, I knew that, not only was Rocco blessed, every person who came was as well. I mean, how many times do you have an opportunity to witness so much talent in one room? And the most amazing part...every one of those musicians left their egos at the door. Nobody was there to show off how great they were. It was all about Rocco. Throughout the night Rocco repeatedly expressed his love and gratitude for the tremendous support. He was honestly humbled by it all. And that to me makes him all the more loveable.

Boyce Avenue - Broken Angel (Live & Acoustic at The Fort Studios)

When I was a child my father left home. It wasn't like I never saw him again, but he wasn't really a part of my life. He had another family and his time and money was spent with them. I always had this notion that it was my fault that he left. You know how children can think silly things like that. Anyway, I would do good in school, get awards, etc. hoping that I could be good enough and it would bring him back home. Sadly, that never happened. And I suffered for years feeling that I wasn't worthy to be loved and that I could never be good enough. My dreams of the perfect life were crushed. I feel like a lot of who I could have been was destroyed when he walked out that door. But you know, God had a plan in it all, and I've learned to forgive my father. Yes, I was once broken...but I am no longer. I have forgiven my father. And I have accepted a Father who will never leave or forsake me.

Attack or Opportunity?

A few days ago I felt led to post some of the music I wrote years ago on my youtube site. I really didn't think I'd receive any bad feedback since most of the people who would be listening to it were my friends or those who are in a Christian group I am a part of.  Imagine my surprise when I received negative comments on one of the songs. Now, it wouldn't bother me if they didn't like my voice or the style of music. People have different styles and tastes, and I think that I would be okay with that. I don't profess to be some amazing singer who will make your jaw drop the moment I open my mouth to sing. But the negative comments weren't about my voice. They were directed more at the lyrics. Okay, so I could take a little criticism of lyrics. I mean, like I said earlier, people have different styles and tastes. But this attack became something directed at me. I was called self righteous and an idol worshipper. I felt hurt and offended. And what hurt the most was that it came from someone I assumed was a Christian. As I thought about it I realized that any time we do something to promote God and His message, we can expect that we will face opposition. And sometimes that opposition will come from those who you would think were on the same team. I've seen it many times before. And you know, there's nothing new about it. If you think about Jesus and His encounters with the religious leaders of the day you see that they didn't like His message either. They rejected Him even though they should have known better than anyone that He was the promised Messiah. They questioned Him and tried to trap Him into speaking the wrong thing. Ahh...which makes me think...."could this be a trap?" My guess would be that it is not only a trap, but an opportunity. And that makes me smile. I have been praying for God to give me opportunity and here it is. An opportunity to not be offended, to walk in love and to not lash out in anger. It's funny because I was having this conversation the other day about how easy it is for me to speak before I think. And this might have been one of those times if I had fallen into the trap. But thank God I didn't.

Having said all of this, let me say that for the past week I have really been seeking to spend more time in God's word, in His presence, praying and worshipping. My desire is to develop an even closer relationship and to be able to hear His voice more clearly, discerning what is and isn't of Him. So this shouldn't surprise me. But I will not be moved. And I will continue to do those things I believe God is asking of me. Yes, there will be opposition and trials. In those trials I will choose to rejoice. I must be doing something right if someone is trying to put a stop to it....

~jan~