Who Am I?

I was listening to Kim Walker speaking and she said something that struck a nerve with me. It's kind of what I've been feeling lately. She said that when the singing (the only thing she knew she was good at) was stripped away, she had to ask herself, "Who am I?" I've been in this season of "not singing" for the past 6 months and I too have to ask myself, "Who am I?" I feel like I've drifted somewhat. Don't get me wrong, I love God. I pray. I read the Bible. I listen to preachers and teachers. But it almost seems as if the passion has dwindled. And that shouldn't be. Perhaps I've allowed the busyness of life and the cares of this world to invade my heart more than the love of the God. Did I rely too much on singing to give me passion when my passion should be about God? Maybe this place is exactly where God wants me right now. Maybe it's what I needed to remind me that I need to spend this time seeking to know Him more, to love on Him and to allow His love to embrace me. When you have to lay down that thing that you have held dear for so long, that thing that perhaps has taken the top spot in your life, you discover that it's not about that. Singing to worship God is good, but if I never sang another note, I have to know that I would still love God, still worship Him. So on this day, I surrender any idol to God. I want God more than I want to sing. I want God more than I want to write. All I want is to know Him more and more intimately with each passing day. And out of that overflow, let the praises ring, whether in song, in dance, in writing, in ministering to and serving others, etc. "Set a fire down in my soul...that I can't contain, that I can't control...I want more of You, God...I want more of You." That is my heart's cry.

As we face the election I have heard so much political debate, name calling and bashing of candidates. This year's campaign seems worse than ever. As I was listening to a message on Sunday morning I was reminded that God's word tells us to pray for our leaders. It didn't say to pray only if you like them. In fact, if you don't like them, you should probably be praying even more. I think it becomes really hard to dislike someone if you are praying for them. You see them in a different light. Anyway, later as I prepared to go to bed I decided to read my Bible, to get one more dose of God's word. As I opened the pages it fell to 1 Timothy 2:1-2, which reads:

I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone-for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.

Funny thing, a person on my facebook friends list had mentioned how she heard a message at her church and then later God directed her to a verse that went right along with that. I commented how I loved when God did that kind of thing. It's kind of a confirmation that, yes, God is speaking something to you. It was that night when the same thing happened to me. I am grinning even thinking about it. I am thankful that God took the time to remind me to pray for our president...no matter which candidate wins. He also directed me to that familiar verse in Philippians 4:6-7. It reads:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace that transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

The thing that both verses seem to have in common is that, when we present our requests to God and offer thanks, peace is a result. Some days it is hard to lay my cares at Jesus' feet, but by doing so I am trusting that God is in control no matter how things may look. And in this day and age, who doesn't long for peace? I know I do.

"The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rocks and make your home on the heights, you who say to yourself, 'Who can bring me down to the ground?' Though you soar like the eagle and make your nest among the stars, from there I will bring you down, declares the Lord."
Obadiah 1:3-4

I realize that this passage wasn't written to Americans per se'. But it's easy to see that it could have been. It is an example of what happens when a nation becomes haughty.This nation (America) has become so prideful in our prosperity that in some ways it has become our god. We've felt invincible. In recent times however, our economy has taken a nosedive and reached crisis levels. As a result, our influence globally is at an all time low.The god of money and power are being brought down. It's kind of funny that the eagle and the stars are mentioned here since these are two things associated with America. It's time that we wake up and realize that God is a jealous God and he wants nothing placed before him. That includes our own self sufficiency. Our reliance should always be on him. When we ignore God, we can rest assured he's not happy. We have to stop taking God out of the equation.

The other day my daughter was talking about how she was fearless prior to having her son. She asked if it was like that for me. I had to be honest. I told her I had never really been fearless. It's kind of sad really. But you know, my childhood was so out of whack that I wanted to feel secure. I felt like I was totally out of control with what was happening in my life. That longing for security seemed to carry over into all areas of my life. Here I am all these years later wishing I had taken more risks, that I had been more fearless. I see people all around me doing great things; things I know were far out of their comfort zone. And I have to ask myself, "What have I done?" Oh, I know that some would say I have stepped out of my comfort zone in some ways...I'd have to agree. But was it enough?

I'm always hearing people talk about their bucket lists. Seems to me these are things people want to do before they die, but possibly haven't had the courage to do until some major life event changed them. I don't want something tragic to occur to push me to doing something exciting and adventurous. And I'm not really talking about just going out and having fun. I want to do things that will matter in regards to the kingdom of God. I want my life to matter. I think that this is what we all want. We want to make a difference in this world. We want to touch the hearts and souls of another human being. We want to make an impact that will be remembered long after we're gone. So we have to ask ourselves what it is that is important in the eyes of God. Those are the things that will count for eternity. And they will require us to step out on the wire. But just remember, we're not without a safety net. God is there to catch us should we fall.

Over the last several months I have felt a change is coming. Being that I am not one who likes change (though I know it is often necessary), I have sought out the familiar and the comfortable in some last ditch effortt to control what's happening. There's an old saying, "you can never go back," and over the years I have found this to be true. No matter how much I may want things to be like they once were, it's just not going to happen. It's kind of like being adrift at sea, hanging onto a life preserver for dear life and wishing that someone would rescue you or that you'd make it to shore safe and sound. No matter how hard you try to steer your course, the wind and waves seem to overpower you and take you wherever they see fit. And you can only hold on for dear life, praying for God to help you make it out alive.

I realize that God is in control of my situation. He knows my every need. And even though I may try to paddle against the current at times, ultimately, he will direct my path. He is in control. So why do I make it so hard? Why do I stress about it? Why can't I just lay it at his feet and leave it there? I need peace, and that only comes when I allow him to guide me without resistance. I know this. I have experienced this.

Years ago I had this friend who was going through some pretty difficult stuff. In the midst of it he remained as he always had been. He didn't seem stressed or strained by it. He didn't moan and complain. If you didn't know what he was going through, you wouldn't have known anything was wrong. That's how I want to be. It shows a total and complete trust in God.

My prayer today is that God would help me to trust him completely, and that in the process of waiting I would find peace in him.

One day I was watching Family Feud and as each contestant stood waiting, hands on their buzzers, the host began to ask the question. Before he got the question out completely one of the contestants slammed their hand onto their button and spewed out some answer. As you can guess, it wasn't one of the top answers on the board. The host then turned to the other contestant and read the question in its entirity. After doing so it was quite clear that the first contestant would have been wise to wait and hear the question in order to understand what was being asked. I thought about this verse in Proverbs 18:13

"He who answers before listening-that is his folly and his shame."

Now, I'm not saying that incident on a game show brought shame to the contestant, but I am guessing it probably brought some degree of embarrassment. It wasn't a wise move to answer without knowing the entire question. This scenario also reminded me of politicians. Often times they are asked random questions and they may give some rash answer without much thought to it. They make promises that realistically they will probably never be able to keep. Had they done more extensive research on the topic they might have known better than to make such promises. But in their attempt to win voters they will say just about anything to please them.

Sometimes (in hindsight usually) it would be easy to see why James 1:19 would tell us to "be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." It's foolishness to answer without first listening intently. We need to hear what others have to say (not just with our ears, but with our hearts). Have an open mind and a willingness to admit if you are wrong. A person who answers hastily can easily end up being angered when they are humiliated by their own stupidity. I realize that is not necessarily the anger James is specifically referring to, but it is true all the same. Think about it. Have you ever done or said something foolish and then got angry when someone proved you wrong? So who were you really angry at? The one who showed you truth or yourself?

I guess the point I am really trying to make here is to think before you speak. Know what it is you are responding to when someone asks you questions.  If you don't know the answer don't be too proud to say, "I don't know the answer; I'll have to get back to you on that." Pride goes before a fall. A person who walks in humility is quite refreshing and far more respected than the one who speaks arrogantly.

2 Chronicles 20-A Pattern for Responding to Trials

Okay, after much consideration I have decided to just write the message I wanted to share from 2 Chronicles 20. I didn’t think breaking up the flow by doing short 5 minute clips was a good idea.

Years ago I was going through some pretty intense trials. It wasn’t just a matter of one after another, but rather, one on top of another, on top of another, on top of another. I was having some health issues, financial issues, had taken in two boys (who had issues all their own), counseling for one of the boys and myself, court battles, slanderous accusations, etc. In the midst of all of these things, a lot of junk from my past was being drawn to the surface; things I had thought I was over. So there was a spiritual cleansing going on as well. Any of these things in and of themselves would have been enough to handle so you can imagine having them all hit you at one time. It was quite overwhelming, to say the least. On one particular day my daughter called me at work and told me she had been in a minor car accident. She assured me she was okay, but I wanted to go check for myself. I left work early that day. On my route home I passed by my daughter’s car and could see that any damage was small. This left me feeling reassured that my daughter was okay. When I drove into my driveway however, I saw a fire truck and rescue unit. My first thought was that my daughter was hurt more than she had originally thought. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. Jamie ran out the door to meet me at my car and told me that my house had caught fire. I was speechless as I walked into the house, surveying the damage. My kitchen was covered in soot and ash. It was utterly destroyed. I walked into my bedroom and fell across the bed and just began to weep. In times past I have usually been one to call my family or friends to pray when I’ve been in difficult situations. But this day was different. I cried out to God and said, “No one can help me but You, Lord.” Now, I’m not one to rashly say that God spoke something to me, but it was almost as if I heard an audible voice saying, “Finally you turn to Me.” At this point in time I had been a Christian for several years and I didn’t really understand that. I always prayed to God. So what was this supposed to mean? In the days that followed I would spend quiet time in the mornings meditating on the Word and just really seeking God to help me get through this. During one of my devotions I felt led to turn to 2 Chronicles 20. As I opened to that chapter my eyes immediately fell to the verse about praisers being on the front lines and the enemy being defeated. Having served on a worship team this was a very common passage that I had heard preached or spoken so many times before. It was only natural for me to see that first. But then I felt like God was nudging me to start from the beginning of the chapter. So I read from verse 1 to verse 30. On the surface it was a pretty interesting story, but I didn’t see why I needed to read it. I read it again. I wondered, “What is it you want me to see here, God?” I began reading it again. This time it was like the words came to life and were just leaping from the page at me. God was showing me how this chapter was really a pattern for how we are to respond when facing trials. And that is what I want to share with you today. I won’t type out every verse, but let me encourage you to go read through it before reading through the rest of my notes.

For those who may not have access to their Bible at this moment, let me give a brief synopsis of what is happening. Jehoshaphat was told that a vast army is coming against him. This isn’t just a normal size army. This is a combination of armies. In his own strength and ability, Jehoshaphat knew that he was powerless against them and he was afraid. So he sought the Lord. Afterwards, he called together the people of Judah to fast and pray. He then stood in the assembly and began speaking to God, and to the people gathered there. His speech consisted of him reminding God of how great he (God) was, what he had done in the past, and that they had this agreement that when they were faced with calamity they would call on God and he would hear and save them. He tells God that they don’t know what to do and that their eyes are upon him. The Spirit of the Lord came upon Jahaziel and he began to tell them what God wanted him to say. He basically said not to be discouraged or dismayed, not to fear, that the battle belonged to the Lord and that they wouldn’t even have to fight in it. They were then given instruction about going out as if into battle the next morning. Jehoshaphat and the people worshipped the Lord and then praised. The next morning they appointed singers to go on the front lines and they headed out. As the praisers began to sing praise to God the Lord set ambushments and the enemy was defeated. There was so much spoil that it took days to collect. Jehoshaphat and all the men of Judah and Jerusalem returned joyfully to Jerusalem. The Lord had given them cause to rejoice over their enemies. They went to the temple with harts, lutes, and trumpets. The fear of God came upon all the kingdoms of the countries when they heard what God had done. And Jehoshaphat had rest on every side.

So what exactly was it that God showed me as I read through these verses? He began showing me a pattern or a guide as to how I should have responded in my trials. I feel that this isn’t just for me, but for every one of us.

In our trials this is how we are to respond:

1.      Seek the Lord. Jehoshaphat didn’t call on his family, his friends, or the people first. His first call was to the Lord. And this should ALWAYS be our first call. I’m not saying that talking to others about what we are going through is bad, but it should never come before we have spoken to God about it. Jehoshaphat knew that in his own strength he was powerless. And guess what. We are powerless too. But God is all powerful. He has the answer to any question we may ask. He is our Rock, our Shield, our help in times of trouble. So why would we seek him last? Jehoshaphat was afraid, but he didn’t let his fear paralyze him. He went to the one who could calm his fear. As I was meditating on this I realized that sometimes I like to try to fix things myself or call on others for prayer before I actually ask God for help.

2.      Enlist the aid of likeminded people. Jehoshaphat called together people who had a common desire, a mutual goal. They wanted what he wanted. Sometimes we are so quick to post our prayer requests to facebook or some other site and we may be asking people who believe completely different than us to pray. But we have to ask ourselves, “What God (or god) are they praying to?” And even amongst so called believers we need to know the Word they believe. If I’m in need of healing I don’t want to ask someone to pray for me who doesn’t believe God still heals. Another thing I want to point out here is that it may be imperative to surround ourselves with people who can encourage and lift us up when we are growing weary from the battle. You may not want to tell everybody the intimate details of what you are going through, but try to find someone who you can trust to confide in if at all possible. The enemy can use isolation as a means to destroy us. When we feel like we are totally alone, that no one has ever experienced what we are experiencing, it can be quite depressing. That depression leads to a discouragement that is difficult to battle. I personally have a group of friends who I feel confident telling intimate details of the trials I am facing. I know that what I say to them will not become the next day’s gossip. I know that they will pray when they say they will. They will encourage me and build me up, and if I am in need of some correction, they will offer it. They don’t judge me based on what I say and they don’t love me any less because of my weaknesses. And they don’t speak negatively. This is a pretty important point. If I need a healing miracle I don’t want someone speaking death over me even if it looks like there is no hope. And if I begin to speak negative they are right there to steer me back to God’s promises.

3.      Stir up your faith. As Jehoshaphat spoke to the assembly, he wasn’t just talking for the sake of talking. Notice that he was telling God who HE was. He was then telling things God had done in the past, and the promise (or agreement) they made regarding times of trials. Now, I don’t for one minute believe that God needed any reminding. By speaking these words, Jehoshaphat was stirring up his faith along with the faith of the people.

4.      Get a Word from God. In Jehoshaphat’s case, he got a word through a prophet. In these times, we don’t need a prophet to tell us what God says. We have access to his written word and can find a word in there at any time. I’m not saying that God can’t use a minister or other person to speak to you, but be cautious about wanting to hear something from a man. I’ve known people who would go church hopping hoping to get some word from someone. I don’t think they really wanted a word from God, but rather, they wanted a word that would line up with what they wanted to do. Anything a person tells you is from God MUST line up with his written word or you can be sure it is not from Him. Once you have found the word God has for you, stand on it, meditate on it daily.

5.      Remember that the battle is not yours, but God’s. I really don’t think this needs any explanation. Let God do the fighting. Trust Him. Keep reminding yourself that the battle belongs to the Lord. You are his child and he will protect you. He will never leave or forsake you. He will walk with you through any trial. Hang onto that.

6.      Worship. I could say so much about that one word. Primarily, worship is first and foremost about placing value on who God is. When we trust who he is, we will be able to take our focus off of the trouble and put it onto him. We will be able to continue serving him, doing those things he instructs us to do in his word. Our worship will be evident in our everyday life, in our service to God and to others. I am reminded of how a child trusts his parents. They may be going through something but when the parent says it will be alright, they believe them. They trust that they will handle it. And they go about their daily business. And this is how we should be. We can cast all of our cares on God and leave them there. *Worship music is also something that can be helpful in helping us maintain focus.*

7.      Do what you know to do. Per God’s instruction, Jehoshaphat had to go out as if into battle. This took a leap of faith. And sometimes, just going through the routine of our day can take that same kind of faith. We have to do what we know to do even when we haven’t yet seen any sign of victory. Jehoshaphat didn’t know exactly how this battle was going to play out. All he knew was that God told him he wouldn’t have to fight and that he was to go out as if he was going into battle. And that is what he did. It had to be a bit scary, and the voice of the enemy was most likely trying to put those ugly thoughts in his head. You know the ones…”I thought God was going to fight the battle. I thought he said you wouldn’t even have to fight. So why are you going to battle? What if he doesn’t meet you there? What if they totally wipe you out?” We can’t allow those thoughts to override what God wants us to do.

8.      Sing praise. I told you that I’ve heard so many ministers speak about the power of praise. One of the things some have said is that praise confuses the enemy. And you know, it does. When you have this intimate relationship with God and you trust Him completely, you will be able to praise Him in the storm. And as you do, people will wonder how you do that. They will know that there is something different about you. And it may be that they end up asking you how you can be so happy when you are facing terrible circumstances. Oh what an opportunity to share Jesus! It’s also a great stress reliever, believe it or not.

9.      You will be blessed. Now, in their case, Jehoshaphat’s army was collecting spoils. Your blessing may not come in a financial form (or it could), but rest assured, when you have taken these steps, you will definitely be blessed to overflowing.

10.  You will have rest. Actually, you should be resting in God even in the battle. But you will have the ultimate rest when you have totally relied on God and seen the victory.

In a previous post I told how I was at the beach and I was reading the story of Hezekiah found in Isaiah 38. It reminded of my cousin Marie who was in a tremendous battle and had been praying, just as Hezekiah did,  for an additional 15 years of life. Even though she didn’t get the extra 15 years, she was a woman who lived out this pattern of response until the day she died. She had the vast army come against her. And yes, she was afraid. She was battling lupus and alopecia when she was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to get a double mastectomy. For a while it seemed she might actually beat the cancer. But it came back and spread to other areas of her body; her liver, colon and brain. In her fear, she always sought the Lord. She always talked about how he had done things in the past and how she could trust him in her health battle. She worshipped God. She adored him and was quick to share testimonies of how he was at work even in the midst of her battle. She was surrounded by prayer warriors who she could trust to pray, to encourage her, to build her up and to love on her. She often told me that no matter how this thing turned out, she knew that God had a bigger plan than she could see. And she was okay with whatever he decided to do. She continued doing what she knew to do. Not just in the battling cancer, but in her life in general. She tried to live her life just like she had been. She spent time with her family. She prayed and sang and laughed. When someone had a need, she was still there to serve, to help in whatever way possible. She helped me plan a 75^th birthday party for my mother. I could not have done it without her. She helped her sisters and brothers who were in a nursing home. She had found that place of rest in God that we all long for. It’s not coincidental that she enjoyed lighthouses so much. She had pictures of them all throughout her home. Waves would be crashing, storms raging, and there in the midst of it all stood the lighthouse. Jesus was her lighthouse. He kept her from crashing. If one wonders why she was able to maintain a positive attitude, it was because she knew that there was someone bigger than her who could bring about a purpose that she might not be able to see. And she trusted in him. She was blessed beyond measure and would be quick to tell you so. Marie was one of the most inspirational women I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing. She was like a sister to me. I will never forget the living example of her trust in God that she displayed before the world. And this is what I strive for. I want to be the person who is so confident in God that nothing I see in the natural can sway me. I want the stress of life to be laid on the altar of sacrifice so that I can enjoy my life resting in God.

In closing let me say, I pray that we all become so reliant on God that our first thought in our trials always goes to him. I want us to have an assurance that he is in control and that he is trustworthy. And I want us to find that place of resting no matter what storms may rage around us.

Feeling a little bit frustrated this morning. I tried to post my video blog, and once again, no luck. I have decided that my "camera" won't let me load long videos to my computer. So....either I'm going to just have to bite the bullet and write the message or I'll have to send it in parts. I really hate the thought of breaking it up though. It messes up the flow. So, let me ponder on it, and I'll decide what to do in a bit. In the meantime, let me just say that it's a great day to be alive! I pray that you have a tremendously blessed day; one filled with amazing opportunities to show the love of Jesus.
~jan~

For the last couple of weeks I have been wanting to do a video blog to share some things from 2 Chronicles 20. Though writing is my preferred method of communicating, I felt that talking this message would be better since I am more prone to go off on some rabbit trail in the midst of it. As yet, I have still not found the time to do it. Anyway, as I was at the beach today I started reading in Isaiah about Hezekiah and how he had his life extended 15 years. This brought my cousin Marie to mind. This was what she had been praying for as well. She was suffering from lupus and cancer. She wanted so badly to see her granddaughter get married. But things didn't work out that way. She passed away in January 2010. As I was thinking about her, I was reminded that she was one of the best examples of following the pattern of 2 Chronicles 20 when responding to trials. And while some may think that things didn't really turn out for her, I have to think that they turned out better than we may believe. I mean, heaven has got to be better than anything this earth has to offer, right? Yes, those left behind still feel the void of not having her with us. But we've learned lessons from the life she lived before us. We have some beautiful memories. And if we are believers, we can rest knowing that one day we will see her again. So I'm thinking that perhaps when I do get around to doing the video blog I will have to include something about the life she lived. If ever a person had an army come against them, it was surely her. And she handled it magnificently. Oh, I can hardly wait to share it...aside from God, she is one of my favorite people to talk about. Perhaps this is why I haven't found the time. God knew that she needed to be included in my message.

Playing for Change Foundation | News

Playing for Change Foundation | News

Sometimes it's so easy to keep hidden the things we struggle with. We don't want people to think that we are bad people. We don't want to be rejected. Or perhaps the shame of our sin is too great. And in some cases, we may feel that no one can possibly understand because our situation is unique. But you know, all sin is common to man. Oh, it may be dressed up in a different package at times, but it's certainly not unique. What I've found over the years is that Satan would love nothing better than to keep you isolated from other believers by making you feel a horrendous guilt and shame. Don't get me wrong, guilt and shame have their place, but they should never come without mercy extended. If they do, you need to question where it is coming from. There is a dramatic difference in condemnation and conviction. Condemantion offers no hope, while conviction offers hope. And that hope is found in Jesus Christ and His shed blood. In Him you can find forgiveness of sin.

As humans, we often feel the need to interact with others, to be able to voice our concerns, our trials, our struggles. But as I said, we may not always want to. You may not want all of your dirty laundry aired for the world to see (or hear). I personally have a few select friends who I can confide in if I need to talk. I know that my secrets are safe with them, and that they won't become that day's gossip. I can count on those friends for moral support, for encouragement, for prayer, and for accountability. They can speak truth into my life even when I don't always want to hear it. This is exactly what the enemy would like to prevent. If you've ever felt so alone then you may know all too well how easy it is to fall into a depression when you become isolated from human interaction. And with depression can come despair. It's a pit you don't want to fall in. It's a set up for your destruction.

Rash Vows

Have you ever been in a tough situation and in your desperation you cried out for God's help? Maybe you never really thought much about God, but it seemed you had nowhere to turn but God. And did you in that moment make promises to God? You know the kind of promises I'm referring to..."If you do this, I'll serve you forever. I'll use my gifts and talents for you, Lord." And what happened when the troubles eased up? Did you stick to that commitment? Many people don't.

As I was meditating on some scriptures this week I was reading about how it's better to not make a vow than to make one and then break it. I wonder if those who break vows really considered that when they were making promises. I would suppose they didn't, or that possibly they didn't care. Or maybe they really intended to keep the promise. Kind of like how you go into a marriage with the expectation of it lasting forever, but sometimes that just doesn't turn out to be the case. I have to ask though, "how much effort did you put into keeping the vow?" I think far too often people are ready to call it quits the moment it gets tough. I'm not just referring to marriage here (though this does apply to marriage as well). I'm referring to serving God in general. Being a follower of Christ requires dedication and commitment. If you expect to grow and mature it will also require time spent in God's word and in prayer. When we read and meditate the scriptures we are transformed by the renewing of our minds. The old way of thinking is replaced with God's way of thinking. And when our thinking is changed our actions will change. It will become easier to be obedient to His commands. Our relationship with Christ will strengthen, making it much easier to stick it out when the going gets tough.

Another area where people make rash vows is with their finances. Sometimes we feel pressured to give more than we can reasonably give. If God is nudging us to do that, then stepping out in faith is a good thing. But if you are giving for reasons other than God's direction, you may regret making that vow to give. There are a lot of valid ministry opportunities that I would love to give to. But without prayer and consideration of what God wants me to give, I don't just hand every good ministry money.

While I'm mentioning making vows, let's also include making a promise to help someone or some ministry and then backing out of it. There may be times when it can't be helped. Maybe you're sick or in the hospital or there's a death in the family, car troubles that prevent you from getting there, etc. People understand those things. But when you just wake up and don't feel like doing it...well, that's a whole other thing. People need to know they can rely on you. Your word should mean something.

In closing, let me just say, "think before you make promises." Don't be like the politicians who want to look good and get votes by promising to do something. Many times they fail to fulfill those promises. And how does it make the people feel? Pretty bad, huh? Makes you regret voting for them. It's the same thing with promising something outside of the political arena. People get hurt when they can't trust you to do what you said you would do. So that being said, be a man (or woman) of your word...

Residue

Everywhere we go and everyone we meet will in some way or another be changed by our presence. The question is, "What kind of impression will we leave?"


I've met people in my lifetime who've brought nothing but stress, negativity and discord into my life. The very mention of their name could make my skin crawl. Over the years I've come to a place of forgiveness where they are concerned. But you know, one has to wonder if any amount of good they do now will ever be taken at face value. I mean, all their lives they used manipulation tactics to get what they wanted. It didn't matter who they hurt in the process. And even though they say they've changed, can all of that ever truly be forgotten by those who were hurt in the crossfire? Possibly. But I assure you it will take time and a lot of hard work to make those memories fade.

When I think of this, I am reminded that I need to take a daily evaluation of my own life. I don't want people to remember me in a negative light. I want my presence to have brought them some kind of joy, inspiration, happiness, etc. I want my life to have made a difference for the better. And isn't that what we should all want? Shouldn't our passing through their lives leave a residue that will linger a lifetime in their fondest memories? Shouldn't the mention of our name bring a smile?

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth. " 1 John 3:18

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others." Phillipians 2:3-4

But If Not

If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O King. But even if He does not, we want you to know, O King, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up. Daniel 3:17-18

Have you ever felt like you were trapped in a situation where you had to make a choice...God's way or the world's way? Was the pressure to compromise so intense that the easiest thing to do would be to conform? In this story, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were going to face certain death in a fiery furnace if they didn't submit to the King's wishes. Even though they knew God was more than capable of delivering them if He chose to, they made it perfectly clear that even if He didn't they still would not bow. Their loyalty to God wasn't determined by whether He would or wouldn't do something for them.

Many times people face trials and circumstances where they pray diligently for healing, deliverance or some other need. They may even make rash vows to God, offering to serve Him if He would do as they were asking. The thing is, God is not prone to accept bribes. He is moved by faith. Now He can offer compassion or extend mercy, but He is not obligated to do what we say or want. So basically, our devotion to Him should remain stable even in the most troubling times. God has a plan in all things even when we don't see it.

Have you ever heard the saying, "hindsight is 20/20?" Most times people who say this are referring to seeing clearly the things they should have done in the past. But think about this...sometimes we want things to work out a certain way, and God doesn't allow it for whatever reason. Later in life we may be able to look back and see where God's hand was at work. He was working things together for our good. Oh I know it may be hard to see God at work in the midst of the chaos. But we can trust that He is. And He will never leave us nor forsake us no matter how bleak things may appear.

I recently went to the beach with one of my 6 year old grandsons, Jacob. He kept begging me to go to the water with him so he could jump waves. So like the doting Nene that I am, I went out with him. Once we got there he was having a blast jumping over the waves. When a big one came along I jumped over it and suddenly Jacob screamed with glee, "Welcome to my world Nene!" It really tickled him that I would jump the wave. As we walked back to shore he said to me, "Now, we're going back to your side of the world."  This got me thinking how sometimes it's so easy to sit on the sidelines as we watch that exciting and unpredictable life pass us by. We choose safety over adventure and then wonder why we find life dull and boring. Seems like all of my life I have been afraid of the unknown. I was never one to take risks. I think a lot of that stems from my dad leaving us when I was a child. I always felt out of control regarding the situation and the events in my life that came as a result of it. I felt unstable. Kind of like that sand beneath your feet as the waves crash in and go out. You know how the sand oozes between your toes and the ground starts moving under your feet giving you that unsteady feeling. Anyway, looking back, I can see that stability isn't always what it's cracked up to be. Yes, there's a place for it. But how exactly does that work in conjunction with faith? Faith will bring with it uncertainties. When we fully surrender our will to God's, then there's a big chance he will ask us to do something that we don't feel comfortable with. It will mean we have to step out when we don't know for sure where our foot will land. We might even get knocked down by a wave here and there. But we can trust that God is right there with us, catching us, and helping us along the journey. But you know, with all the uncertainties, there are those things we can be sure of. God loves us and he will never leave us nor forsake us. He will be there through thick and thin. So no matter what happens in this life, we can trust that will never change no matter what circumstances come our way.

Have you ever told your kids to do something and they repeatedly disobeyed? And did you get so frustrated you just wanted to scream? As if that would solve anything. The other day I was dealing with one of my grandchildren who didn't want to do what I was asking him to do. I was trying to get him dressed and ready for school and we were running late because of his obstinence.The moment I mentioned punishment he was quick to say he was sorry. I answered, "If you were, you wouldn't continue doing it." Typical parental (or grandparent in this case) response, right? I was so aggravated by the whole situation. But later, God showed me something and it was very humbling. Over and over again we do things and ask God for forgiveness. Now, if His thinking were the same as mine, He could say, "If you were truly sorry you wouldn't keep doing that."  And you know, while this is true, God is a lot more merciful than we are. And I am glad for that. As you can read by previous posts, I often struggle with those same sins over and over...one of the big ones being related to my mouth. I am glad that He doesn't turn His back on me based on my lack of obedience, but He continues to draw me to repentance, and back into His loving embrace.

In the Old Testament we see where God's chosen people disobeyed repeatedly. They would get frustrated with whatever situation they were facing at the moment and they seemed to always fall back into that pattern of wanting to go back to the bondage they had been in. This particular moment I faced with my grandson came after I had told God how I wanted to change how I responded to irritating situations. I don't think it's a coincidence that this frustration came then. I think it was just what Satan thought would throw me back to that place of saying, "I can't do this." And if he could get me to think that way, then he could get me to continue living as I had been...in bondage. Trapped by the very thing I had just said I wanted to change.

People always tell you, "don't pray for patience or you'll be put to the test." Well, this is kind of what happens whenever you decide you want to live a life pleasing to God. The enemy will quickly come in and give you the opportunity to live exactly as you had been. That is why we have to determine in our hearts that no matter how many times he puts that temptation out there for us to fall prey to, we will do what we've said, even if we mess up. After repenting we will pick ourselves back up and try again. We will remember that the enemy has been defeated. And the same power that raised Jesus from the dead resides within us, giving us the power to overcome.

The War Within

Let me start by saying that I don't pretend to be perfect. I know that I am far from it. I also know that there is none perfect, but sometimes people like to act like they are or can be. And that just isn't me. Don't get me wrong, I do strive for perfection, but I know in my heart that, as a human, I will mess up at times. And so I try not to be too hard on myself when I do miss the mark. However, there are certain areas where I seem more likely to mess up. When I do, I ask forgiveness. But one day I was thinking about certain things that I continued to do even after I had repented. And it caused me to question if perhaps I didn't even understand the concept of true repentance. I mean, how can a person say they are sorry, but continue to do the same thing over and over again? I wondered if God even heard those "I'm sorry" prayers if in my heart I knew that I would probably fall into that same sin again. Oh, I might be able to not do it for a while...but is not doing it for a while really attempting to correct the problem in my own strength and then failing when my strength is weak? Is that full reliance on the power of God to help me to overcome this? I don't think it is. Preachers are always talking about relying on God's power, not our own strength. They tell us to put the word into action. Funny thing is, I really never hear much about how to do that. Some days one might think that my life verse is Romans 7:15, which says: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." And the struggle begins...it's like a war within at times. I guess some part of me has always tried to be "good enough." That stems from the abandonment I felt when my father left, and all those feelings that resulted from the hurt. I figured I could do something good enough to make him love me, something to want me back in his life. I hate that those feelings from childhood seem to invade my thoughts even now when I know in my heart that my salvation is not based on anything I do. God's love isn't given because of how good or bad I am. Romans 5:8 is a verse I quote to myself as a reminder..."But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." He didn't wait until we were perfect to love us. I can rejoice in that. But that human part of me still struggles with it at times. I want desperately to be pleasing to God. And it hurts me when I fail to do that. One of my favorite passages in the Bible is found in Psalm 51. This is probably the most heartfelt passage regarding repentance and it gives the indication that with true repentance there will be brokenness. So I suppose the question I might ask myself is, "Have I been broken?" Along with that, “Have I seen the sin as God does?” In the beginning of the chapter (verse 4) we see where David says, "Against you, you only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge." The thing I want to point out is that no matter what sin we commit, it is ultimately a sin against God. As Christians, that alone should break our hearts. But thankfully God continues to show mercy when we have done absolutely nothing to deserve it. He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins when we come to Him with a repentant heart; a heart that desires to turn from the sin. I am so thankful that we have access to him even if we sin. Hebrews 4:15-16 says, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in our time of need." The devil would like nothing better than for us to be so condemned because of our sin (or even from our temptation) that we turn from God. But those verses remind me that Jesus understands the temptations we face. He faced them as well. But the good news is that his blood provided us access to the throne of grace when we face temptation. We can seek his help without fear. And that is really the only way that we can overcome. Perhaps change doesn't happen as quickly as we would like, but when we delve into His word we will slowly but surely begin to see changes. We will see things from His perspective. And then we can begin putting those things in action because we more fully understand what it is that pleases Him. I often mention the scripture in Philippians 4: 8 that tells us to think on lovely things, true things, pure things, whatever is praiseworthy, etc. I can't stress enough to myself or others the importance of what we think. Temptation begins in our thought life. And sometimes when we focus too much on trying not to think about a particular temptation/sin, we think about it even more. So when temptation comes, and it will, we need to be quick to replace that thought with something else. We need to take deliberate steps to remove ourselves from anything that might influence us to succumb to the temptation.

Philippians 3:10 (Amp) says:

[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope].

So, you may be wondering why I threw that verse in. I wanted to point out a couple of things. The beginning statement says, "For my determined purpose." These words are so important. They let us know that it had already been decided, there was a determination to do something. As you read on you see what it was he had decided to do. He wanted to know Christ, and to progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with him, to recognize and understand the wonders of his person more strongly and clearly. Notice if you will that word “progressive.” This implies to me that he knew that this was a process. You don't meet someone and fully understand who they are after one encounter. It takes time and effort to develop intimacy. Once you do develop that intimacy with Christ, you come to a place of knowing the power that is the outflowing from His resurrection. That same power that raised Christ from the dead is now residing within us when we accept Christ. And that is the power source that will enable us to stand against temptation. We just need to learn to tap into it.

Over the years I have had to deal with so much junk from my past. I’ve also had to decipher through so much wrong teaching that I’ve heard all my life and determine what really lined up with God’s word. In the process of dealing with all of this it became quite clear that I lacked freedom. That may sound rather off the wall to say when I am talking about temptation and giving in to it. But think about this…when we have no sense of freedom we often times try to hide our struggles. We feel ashamed. We think no one else has ever faced these things. Basically, we fear being condemned. But if we look at it closely, we would see that this lack of freedom to express to others what we are going through causes us to condemn ourselves. And this keeps us entangled in bondage. Then when we fall into temptation and commit sin, we see no hope. The enemy plays on our shame and begins rambling on about how God could never forgive that or how worthless we are, or whatever he can say to us that will strike those nerves. The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”  So you see, we are not alone in our struggles. Others are facing these very common temptations. The good news is that we will not be tempted beyond what we can bear. Oh I know it may feel like we can’t bear it at times, but rest assured, we can if we rely on God and his strength rather than our own. Some versions say that he will provide a way of escape when facing temptation. It kind of reminds me of a fire escape in a way. And when I think of it in that way, I think back to my school days when they would have fire drills. Do you remember those? These drills were meant to prepare us for what we would do in the event of a fire. They were a dress rehearsal for facing what would be a tense situation. I kind of think we need to have temptation drills. We know all too well what our weaknesses are. So we need to think of what we will do when we are put in that position of temptation. Plan it out in advance. I think it might help us to escape if we already have it in our mind what we need to do.

I know that I tend to ramble on when I get going, and sometimes I may not clearly convey the message I want you to understand. So to sum it up, let me put it like this….We are all tempted. Have a plan what you need to do to escape the temptation before it happens. Change what you are thinking on when those thoughts come into your mind. There may be times when we give in to the temptation. We need to repent. That repentance needs to be a genuine brokenness over the sin we’ve committed against God. We should always repent with the intention of not repeating it. If we do it again repent again. Continue developing your relationship with God by studying and meditating his word. This will develop an intimacy and help us to more clearly hear what God is saying and to know and understand what he wants from us. It will help us to learn to tap into his power and to rely more fully on his ability to get us through.

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Peace When Trials Come

In times of war we often hear people saying they want peace. And yes, it would be great if wars were to stop.But I have to wonder if no war equates to peace. If you think long and hard about it a person can have  their own wars raging within.  They can have family issues, financial struggles, job concerns, etc. And any one of these things can rob you of your peace if you aren't careful. Drama situations really have a way of doing that; making you fret about what someone did or didn't do, what they said or didn't say. It's kind of funny though, many times the very ones causing you the most turmoil think very little about what it is you're feeling. They are out there living their lives without a care in the world. With all this in mind, how then can we live at peace in the midst of trials?

As I was meditating on some scriptures regarding peace I could see that the first thing we need to ensure peace is Christ. He alone offers us hope for something better. He has suffered all that we do and has shown us that we can make it through the trials unscathed when our trust and our hope for our future is in the right place. That means our trust isn't in what we see in the natural, but rather, in what God has promised. In order to know what it is that God has promised we need to be in His word. Psalm 119:165 says: "Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble." So ask yourself, "Do I love his law? Am I spending time meditating it?"If you can answer yes to those questions, you will be able to stand in the midst of the trials. And you will be able to look beyond the here and now. In other words, you can believe that these trials are temporary. Another clue about peace is found in Philippians 4:6-8 which says: "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things." It is highly important to rejoice in the Lord even when facing difficult situations. It will help you not to be anxious, and when you aren't anxious you will feel much more at peace. Present your requests to God, with thanksgiving. You can trust that God knows what you're going through, and even though we may not always get the answer we'd like, we can believe that all things will eventually work together for good to those who love him. Trust is essential. No matter how things turn out in this world, we have a hope for a better future. That future will be spent in heaven with Jesus. That alone is reason for rejoicing. And that should offer us some peace. Then we come to the part about our thought life. People who aren't at peace tend to be drawn to think about the negative things. So the key here would be to replace those negative thoughts with more pleasant ones. Replace the lies of the enemy with the truth of God's word. Instead of seeing the bad in the situation, see the good. Find reasons to praise God. It shouldn't be too difficult if you open your eyes to all that He has blessed you with.

The Bible speaks a lot about peace and being peacemakers. As I thought about it, I thought how forgiveness would have to play a role in living a life of peace. Much of our lack of peace comes from offense. Someone did something to hurt us and we play it over and over again in our heads. What we may not realize is that, with every replay of the incident we only make matters worse. And it lessens our peace considerably. Forgiveness is not always an easy thing. Believe me, I know this from my own experience. But it is a choice that we make in obedience to Christ. As we continue choosing to forgive even when we don't feel like it (and we don't see any apparent change) there comes a time when we will see that we have truly forgiven the person who offended us. A friend of mine used to tell me to pray for the person who hurt you. And I'm not talking about praying they get hit by a truck or some stupid thing like that. Pray for them to be blessed. Pray good things for them. It's hard to be mad at someone you're praying for.

There is so much more I can say on the subject of peace, but I am growing tired. I will try to get back to this topic another day. Maybe I'll dig up all of those scriptures regarding peace. If for some reason I don't, let me encourage you to do some digging on the subject. I am sure it would benefit you greatly.

Until next time...

~jan~

Changed By You (written by Jan Peterson)

I have tried to embed this, but for some reason it just wouldn't take. Hopefully, this won't deter you from watching it.

http://youtu.be/swkNOiDjako

Roccopalooza 2012

Musicians are a rare breed. When one is hurting, they all hurt. And they will go out of their way to help a brother in need. When local guitarist/songwriter Rocco Marshall recently had to have his leg amputated, long time friend, Jim Brown, immediately sprung into action to put together a benefit to help cover the medical expenses. One benefit soon turned to four separate events. Musicians from many genres came together to donate their time and talent to the cause. Rocco is well loved and respected amongst his peers and their devotion to him was evidenced by an incredible response to these events. It was a true example of love in action.

European Street hosted the acoustic based musicians. Mike shackelford and Steve Shanholtzer, The Storytellers, Jamie Defrates and Susan Brown, and Larry Mangum.
Brewsters Pit had the rock bands HSOA: Heated State of Aggression, Rogue Patriot, Bleeding in Stereo, and Rosco Caine.
Yesterday's Social Club had two events. On Saturday night they had A1A North, Rick Arcusa Band, Al Stone, Dillinger, and Synergy. Sunday's lineup included a jam session (Jim Mack was in on one of the jams) followed by a show featuring J. Collins, Danny Delves, Mojo Roux, and Yankee Slickers. Randall Hall was also there jamming with the bands. One of the highlights of the evening was when Rocco's daughter, Aaron Marshall joined him on stage. The girl can seriously belt out the tunes. Whew! Such a talent! She must get that from her daddy.

Each of these venues received a donation at the door for Rocco, and there were auctions of things that people and businesses had donated. Yesterday's also had a t-shirt with the bands listed on them which was sold. Part of the proceeds went directly to Rocco.
All of these venues and bands had one common goal...raising money and showing their support for Rocco Marshall. As I listened to the bands, I knew that, not only was Rocco blessed, every person who came was as well. I mean, how many times do you have an opportunity to witness so much talent in one room? And the most amazing part...every one of those musicians left their egos at the door. Nobody was there to show off how great they were. It was all about Rocco. Throughout the night Rocco repeatedly expressed his love and gratitude for the tremendous support. He was honestly humbled by it all. And that to me makes him all the more loveable.

Boyce Avenue - Broken Angel (Live & Acoustic at The Fort Studios)

When I was a child my father left home. It wasn't like I never saw him again, but he wasn't really a part of my life. He had another family and his time and money was spent with them. I always had this notion that it was my fault that he left. You know how children can think silly things like that. Anyway, I would do good in school, get awards, etc. hoping that I could be good enough and it would bring him back home. Sadly, that never happened. And I suffered for years feeling that I wasn't worthy to be loved and that I could never be good enough. My dreams of the perfect life were crushed. I feel like a lot of who I could have been was destroyed when he walked out that door. But you know, God had a plan in it all, and I've learned to forgive my father. Yes, I was once broken...but I am no longer. I have forgiven my father. And I have accepted a Father who will never leave or forsake me.

Attack or Opportunity?

A few days ago I felt led to post some of the music I wrote years ago on my youtube site. I really didn't think I'd receive any bad feedback since most of the people who would be listening to it were my friends or those who are in a Christian group I am a part of.  Imagine my surprise when I received negative comments on one of the songs. Now, it wouldn't bother me if they didn't like my voice or the style of music. People have different styles and tastes, and I think that I would be okay with that. I don't profess to be some amazing singer who will make your jaw drop the moment I open my mouth to sing. But the negative comments weren't about my voice. They were directed more at the lyrics. Okay, so I could take a little criticism of lyrics. I mean, like I said earlier, people have different styles and tastes. But this attack became something directed at me. I was called self righteous and an idol worshipper. I felt hurt and offended. And what hurt the most was that it came from someone I assumed was a Christian. As I thought about it I realized that any time we do something to promote God and His message, we can expect that we will face opposition. And sometimes that opposition will come from those who you would think were on the same team. I've seen it many times before. And you know, there's nothing new about it. If you think about Jesus and His encounters with the religious leaders of the day you see that they didn't like His message either. They rejected Him even though they should have known better than anyone that He was the promised Messiah. They questioned Him and tried to trap Him into speaking the wrong thing. Ahh...which makes me think...."could this be a trap?" My guess would be that it is not only a trap, but an opportunity. And that makes me smile. I have been praying for God to give me opportunity and here it is. An opportunity to not be offended, to walk in love and to not lash out in anger. It's funny because I was having this conversation the other day about how easy it is for me to speak before I think. And this might have been one of those times if I had fallen into the trap. But thank God I didn't.

Having said all of this, let me say that for the past week I have really been seeking to spend more time in God's word, in His presence, praying and worshipping. My desire is to develop an even closer relationship and to be able to hear His voice more clearly, discerning what is and isn't of Him. So this shouldn't surprise me. But I will not be moved. And I will continue to do those things I believe God is asking of me. Yes, there will be opposition and trials. In those trials I will choose to rejoice. I must be doing something right if someone is trying to put a stop to it....

~jan~